My Progress So Far in Being Monastic

I have not updated the blog for a while due to extreme exhaustion.  The doctor found a vitamin deficiency.  Also, I received good news that I do not have breast cancer. However these physical issues and a pileup of other crises led to my current state of tiredness.  I still continued as much as possible to keep a routine of morning contemplative prayer, inspiring readings, slowing down and praying Divine Mercy at night.  These practices were an anchor for me as the storm intensified and raged around me. 

During this time, I read a couple of books on Benedictine spirituality.   Brother Benet Tvedter wrote a  book called How to Be Monastic and Not Lose Your Day Job.  (That title definitely caught my eye).  He emphasized a life of “balance, moderation, and a lot of humanity.”  There needs to be a time for prayer and work but “don’t work so hard that you don’t have time to pray.”  

I also read parts of The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris.  It was interesting to read a protestant’s perspective on her time spent in a Benedictine monastery and its influence on her spirituality and writing.  When living outside the monastery, she offered a few good ideas on taking the monastery with you.  She takes a walk at dawn, reads daily psalms, sings hymns and meditates on biblical passages (lectio divina).

Both of these books inspired me to start opening the bible and at least read a psalm.  I have not done this every day but hope to make it part of my regular routine.  Sometimes, I used the psalm that was part of the daily mass reading.  I also have just randomly picked a psalm.  One day, I fell upon the powerful Psalm 55 which has one of my favorite bible verses “Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you.  He will never let the righteous fail.”  Psalm 55:22  I did not know that David wrote it after suffering from betrayal and being under siege in a fierce battle.  I felt God revealed to me that He understood my suffering by showing me this psalm.

l also will continue to study St. Benedict and write more on him in the future.  My church had a yard sale recently, so I picked up the Rule of St. Benedict for the bargain price of $.50.  Maybe God is sending me in this direction. 

The Lord is also telling me to spend time with Mary on this journey.  As a convert, I have had struggles with this aspect of Catholicism.  A couple of nights ago, I saw Tom Booth in concert at my church.  He used to be a music minister there but is now a Christian artist.  I was tired and fought a raging headache, although the music did uplift me.  He ended the concert by singing a beautiful prayer to Mary.  At that moment, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to turn to Mary who suffered greatly from grief after her Son died and thus understood my suffering.  I then prayed a most desperate plea to her to intercede for my healing and wiped away tears flowing out of my eyes.  It was an extremely powerful experience and I truly believe she heard my prayer.  All I can do now is wait and trust in the Lord .