Sunday, September 5, 2010

The World Became White

Last Saturday, I was invited to a party for my 12 step group.  I left around 5:30 pm.  There were black clouds in the sky which was normal during monsoon season in Arizona.  I could not find my sunglasses but felt the sun was not too bright, so I did not return to get them.  A few drops of rain sprinkled on the windshield.  It was not big deal since I was used to this weather and was driving a jeep.  A few more came down and then some dust. Still, I could see easily and put the windshield wipers on the lowest setting.  To my left, clouds were forming where I was headed and I saw a large bolt of lightening crash down as I passed the mall.  I felt a little concerned but said to myself that it was only 20 more minutes to get to the house.

The wind steadily increased as I made a turn due west and into the clouds.  Rain got heavier and pelted the car.  The sky grew whiter as I traveled further inside a dust and rainstorm.  Then, rain pounded and the cars slowly disappeared.  The sun was at angle above my car and getting ready to set.  The rays bore through the clouds and cast a blinding reflection on the wet road which also turned white and shiny.  I slowed down but could see nothing but white all around me although on a busy 6 lane freeway.  I quickly prayed and pulled over.

For five minutes, I sat watching cars whizz by.  I also forgot to turn off my lights which I later learned was dangerous.  Fortunately, I saw headlights behind me in time and restarted the car.  Slowly, I made my way to the exit. Visibility was a little better.  I had no idea where I was and where to go.  As I reached the top of the hill, the cloud passed over me and went north. There was less rain and visibility gradually improved.  The radio then announced a severe weather alert. Now you tell me, I thought. So I made my way to the party and arrived a little shaken but safe.  I later learned  that 69 cars were involved in a pileup from that storm.  There was no doubt in my mind that the Lord kept me safe and guardian angels were working overtime while I was on that road.  I even felt it was a sign not to worry about surgery in 3 days which went smoothly.

As I think about it, my own life resembles that storm.  I have been blinded and unable to move through chaos in my own family, job, health and life.  All I could do was trust in God to keep me safe during the storm but still struggle with surrending to Him each day.   For the past two years, I have been dabbling in contemplative prayer, 12 steps, reading on the saints and simplicity but still only taking baby steps.   I will write this blog as I study for ways to establish a monastery within my chaotic home and see what works.  Is it even possible?

2 comments:

  1. Live as simple as you can and surrender it all to God. Take one day at a time and do everything in a calmed fashion. Remember Fr. Charles's "Walking slow" letter. Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How beautiful! And thankfully you are safe! I am sure your guardian angels were taking good care of you. It is so wonderful to see you start to put your thoughts into writing on this blog. I can relate to the difficulties of establishing a monastery in your home. However, Our Lord and Our Lady will definitely make that possible!God bless, and I cannot wait for more!

    ReplyDelete