Walking Slow

We are always in a hurry.  People scurry to and from their jobs. We eat breakfast while answering emails, catching up on Facebook and talking on the cell phone at the same time.  Weekends are crammed with shopping at the grocery store and malls, rushing to pick up kids from sports, heading over to the gym for a quick workout and then hurrying to a party.  Sunday is often the busiest day of the week especially if church can be squeezed into the schedule.  The concept of Sabbath is foreign in this fast-paced society.

I have been guilty of this behavior which culminated in extreme exhaustion a few months ago.  I thought about a letter written to a friend by Father Charles Carpenter who lives in Mexico.  He wrote:  “We have to walk slowly, act slowly, think slowly, speak slowly, move slowly, etc.  Go about life in slow motion.  This is so important for conserving peace in the soul.”  He further advised:  “This is obtained by taking all the time necessary to live life tasting all the things God is giving us.  We need to read books slowly in order to appreciate them.  God never changes.”

It seems simple but is not easy.  I have to plan ahead so I have extra minutes to walk a little slower to the office or spend more time eating breakfast.  Old habits of eating, reading and talking at warp speed have been hard to break.  However, this week, I tried to slow down a little.  I was more aware of when I was moving too fast and told myself to slow down.  In addition, I stopped myself several times from multi-tasking.  Finally, I learned to reduce some of my activities.  I decided to stay home one night after being out the two previous nights.  Next week,  I will focus on eating slower which will be very challenging.    

One concern would be that slowing down is not efficient at work.  However, repeating oneself to be understood or starting over from a mistake is counter-productive.  Multi-talking can also lead to more errors and feeling tired by the end of the day.  So, slowing down can be more productive in the end as long as work is carefully planned to be done on time.  

When I wrote Father Carpenter for permission to quote his letter, he responded with even more intriguing ideas on walking slow.  He wrote that he discussed it with a priest who said Jesus was never in a hurry.  This is so true.  I do not remember Jesus ever telling people that he had to hurry to make an appointment to do a miracle in the next village.  In fact, Jesus took time off to pray.  The priest also told Father Carpenter that our hurry comes from original sin.  "We do not have control over time, only God does.   Our rest will come in the next life.  ('Rest in Peace' has a very deep theological meaning.)

He continued: "If work is not done in the spirit of Christ, it is a horrible form of slavery.  I know people whose lives, when they have deliberately turned their backs on God, are a total slavery to work.  They are activists and have made work a drug to which they are addicted.  As you may know, there is a website and 12-step group called Workaholics Anonymous.  This is proof of the affliction today's world is in.  Christopher Dawson believed that modern society was turning people into machines.  He taught that we need to depend more on the Holy Spirit, asking the Holy Spirit to enlighten our imaginations towards the production of creative works." 

Living and working by the clock instead of for God is definitely slavery.  It is not worth the stress if we are too tired or sick to have fun and enjoy life.  We have to pray that we will live our lives in the spirit of Christ and ask Him to help us slow down and experience the beauty of His creation.  Only then can we conserve His peace in our souls.

Returning to Centering Prayer

Centering Prayer is simply emptying oneself to seek union with our Lord. It requires detachment from our thoughts. Thomas Keating in Open Mind Open Heart said: “The method consists of letting go of every thought during the time of prayer, even the most devout thoughts.” He compared the flow of our thoughts to a river but most people are only aware of the flow and not the source (inner consciousness). We have to allow “our ordinary thoughts to recede into the background and to float along the river of consciousness without our noticing them.”


Centering prayer was created in the 1970’s by Trappist monks as a method to bring people to a contemplative prayer state. The prayer was practiced by early Christians and its practice was widespread during the Middle Ages, but its popularity decreased after the Reformation. Interest in this prayer began in the 1970’s as a Christian response to the Eastern meditation movement. Also, it is not merely a Catholic prayer but is open to anyone. In Phoenix, for example, Episcopal, Methodist and Presbyterian churches participate in centering prayer. There are also 12 Step groups for people working on Step 11 that focuses on prayer and meditation.

I started centering prayer in 2007 and participated in a group near my house for a year. However, I struggled to do it at home with all the noise and distractions. Most of the time, I could only do it at biweekly group meetings. Then, I had conflicts with the meeting date and my practice of centering prayer ceased.

Last week, I started it up again and managed to do it for 10-15 minutes before work every morning. The ideal time is 20 minutes but I will need to work up to this time. It took some adjustment, so here are a few tips for busy people:

1) Prepare as much as possible the night before (clothes, lunches, etc.) to maximize time available for centering prayer.

2) Do not do it when you first wake up. I yawned throughout the prayer practice on that day. Go ahead and be dressed for the day and even eat breakfast.

3) Find a quiet place where you can close the door and remove distractions. In my case, I have to make sure my cat is well fed before beginning the prayer or he will do his best to disrupt the prayer.

4) I found it helpful to prepare my mind by saying a few prayers such as an Our Father (Lord’s Prayer) or a Hail Mary. Any prayer can work to prepare for time with God. I also like to say a quick prayer of protection to keep demonic influences away. Catholics can use the prayer to St. Michael* but a few words requesting that the Lord keep the evil away are sufficient.

5) Another technique is to slowly count to 20 and visualize walking down a staircase. At the bottom is a door. I begin centering prayer after I open the door. Listening to quiet music and reading a bible verse are similar ways to prepare for this prayer. Note that these ideas are not part of centering prayer instructions but doing a few warmups before any exercise is good idea.

6) When ready to pray, sit comfortably in a quiet setting and repeat a word or phrase as thoughts enter your mind. I have used “open” or “be still” as examples. Find whatever word comes to your mind.

7) Use a timer. (I still need to get one). Keating advises to muffle it under a towel or pillow if loud in Open Mind Open Heart.

8) Finally, do not get upset every time a thought enters or you hear a noise. Just let them go.

9) When the time is up, wait a couple of minutes before opening up your eyes since going back also requires a transition.

It is too early to tell if this exercise has had results but I did focus better on mass today. I also did feel a little peaceful after most of the prayer sessions. I will report in future blogs on my progress as well as on walking slow and praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. The challenge for me will be adding evening centering prayer.

More comprehensive information on centering prayer is at http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/. There are also websites on local chapters and support groups.

*St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.  Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.  May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.  And do thou, Oh Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the divine power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.  Amen.

Beginning Your Own Interior Monastery

Why would anyone want to leave his comfortable life to join a monastery? Thomas Merton provided an insightful response in his autobiography The Seven Storey Mountain. Here was a bright young man with a promising future as an academic and writer who gave up everything to enter Gethsemani Monastery in 1941 to become a Trappist monk. He wrote: “The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions of other men!” Instead, “it was God alone that I was supposed to live for, God that was supposed to be the center of my life and of all I did.” The monastery for him “is a school---a school in which we learn from God how to be happy. Our happiness consists in sharing the happiness of God, the perfection of His unlimited freedom, the perfection of His love.”

I wonder how he would have commented in today’s world where we are bombarded by information and are slaves to technology that allows us to multi-task in every waking moment. We know within seconds what is happening on the other side of the globe and can respond instantly to someone’s message. Yet, are we better off now with more choices and less time to do them? Can we take time from our busy lives for God?

The difference between a monastery and secular life is that the former is centered on uniting with God through prayer and a daily routine. Secular life is often more centered on ourselves and other people, even for dedicated Christians if we are truly honest with ourselves. In my life, I am lucky to find a few minutes to set aside for prayer, read inspiring books or work on the 12 Steps. A few months ago, I was in a state of absolute exhaustion. My doctor ordered me not to work for a day as a result. It was a scary feeling and a wakeup call. Last week, I had surgery which was a second wakeup call. Although I have prayed many times and tried to surrender, I still feel like I am barely surviving through one crisis after another. Maybe, God is telling me that I need to spend more time with Him.

It is not possible to pack up my bags and head to Gethsemani like Thomas Merton. I am strongly committed to my family and career. My house is also chaotic so I cannot realistically adopt a monastic schedule. However, it can be possible to find moments each day to spend with God, create a routine and slowly build an interior monastery. Here are some ideas:

1) Adopt daily contemplative or centering prayer at a regular time which means sitting in a quiet place and emptying your mind of all thoughts to experience the presence of God. Repeating a word helps to achieve this state.  Centering prayer groups advise to do it twice a day for 20 minutes each time. This has been unrealistic in the past so my goal will be once a day in the morning for 10-20 minutes and before reading any emails or Facebook. A good website that discusses this prayer is http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/.

2) Tell myself to slow down during the day especially when I am moving too fast. (A priest in Obregon, Mexico wrote this wonderful piece of advice to conserve peace in your soul).

3) Journal and do some spiritual reading each night.

4) Continue to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet at bedtime and say a 3:00 prayer as much as possible. (My work computer is set up to send me a reminder at 3pm). The divine mercy prayer uses the rosary and was started by St. Faustina who had numerous visions with Jesus during her life.  It focuses on praying for God's mercy for people or places.  (See http://www.thedivinemercy.org/ which provides a comprehensive explanation).  It is also believed that requesting God's mercy is most effective at 3pm when Jesus died so this is the reason to pray at that time.  An alternative prayer (especially for non-Catholics) would be to simply think about people who need God's mercy and pray for them.  I will do this when I go to bed late or am rushed for time.

These are baby steps to a more disciplined, spiritual life. Certainly, attending church more often, going to adoration and living simply can be added, but it is best to do a little at a time. I welcome suggestions from anyone who has taken similar steps. As construction of monasteries took many years, building up this interior monastery will take patience and time.  The goal of a deeper relationship with God is worth the sacrifice.

The World Became White

Last Saturday, I was invited to a party for my 12 step group.  I left around 5:30 pm.  There were black clouds in the sky which was normal during monsoon season in Arizona.  I could not find my sunglasses but felt the sun was not too bright, so I did not return to get them.  A few drops of rain sprinkled on the windshield.  It was not big deal since I was used to this weather and was driving a jeep.  A few more came down and then some dust. Still, I could see easily and put the windshield wipers on the lowest setting.  To my left, clouds were forming where I was headed and I saw a large bolt of lightening crash down as I passed the mall.  I felt a little concerned but said to myself that it was only 20 more minutes to get to the house.

The wind steadily increased as I made a turn due west and into the clouds.  Rain got heavier and pelted the car.  The sky grew whiter as I traveled further inside a dust and rainstorm.  Then, rain pounded and the cars slowly disappeared.  The sun was at angle above my car and getting ready to set.  The rays bore through the clouds and cast a blinding reflection on the wet road which also turned white and shiny.  I slowed down but could see nothing but white all around me although on a busy 6 lane freeway.  I quickly prayed and pulled over.

For five minutes, I sat watching cars whizz by.  I also forgot to turn off my lights which I later learned was dangerous.  Fortunately, I saw headlights behind me in time and restarted the car.  Slowly, I made my way to the exit. Visibility was a little better.  I had no idea where I was and where to go.  As I reached the top of the hill, the cloud passed over me and went north. There was less rain and visibility gradually improved.  The radio then announced a severe weather alert. Now you tell me, I thought. So I made my way to the party and arrived a little shaken but safe.  I later learned  that 69 cars were involved in a pileup from that storm.  There was no doubt in my mind that the Lord kept me safe and guardian angels were working overtime while I was on that road.  I even felt it was a sign not to worry about surgery in 3 days which went smoothly.

As I think about it, my own life resembles that storm.  I have been blinded and unable to move through chaos in my own family, job, health and life.  All I could do was trust in God to keep me safe during the storm but still struggle with surrending to Him each day.   For the past two years, I have been dabbling in contemplative prayer, 12 steps, reading on the saints and simplicity but still only taking baby steps.   I will write this blog as I study for ways to establish a monastery within my chaotic home and see what works.  Is it even possible?